These articles appeared in this issue:
The Toledo punk scene is dead. Let me repeat myself: THE TOLEDO PUNK SCENE IS DEAD!!! How can anyone make so brash a statement! No one can possibly assess a scene and make a harsh generalization thereof! (We'll ignore all those who say punk itself is dead) But the facts are the facts, the scene, if it was ever here to start with, is dead, and here is why:
First of all, Boogie Records (who so kindly distro this zine for us) can't even get MaximumRocknRoll in the quantities they used to since demand for a quality punk zine is so low. This ensures that someone like me can never get a copy since I only go to Boogie to drop off zines or sometimes if I'm in the neighborhood. I probably visit Boogie 1.2 times per month on average; the chances of there being a MaximumRocknRoll there for me are slim to none. If you are the one cleaning Boogie out of MRR, do us a favor and subscribe to it. Leave some for those who really need it (e.g. the dedicated punk newcomers).
Second, Whit's End is okay, but it's getting really hard to see a good show in town anymore. We never get any touring punk bands and most of our local bands suck shit. Furthermore, the only shows that are worth seeing are 21 and over. Fuck that shit! Punk rock needs to be brought back to the kids (not the 12 year old Offspring fans, but those of us not fortunate enough to be included in that damn 21 and over clique)! I am proposing that any bands who want to bring punk back to the kids (and aren't playing merely for money) should get together, rent out a hall, and promo the fuck out of it. Hello? Am I reaching any of you? If a band plays in the woods and no one's around to hear them, do they make a sound?
Actually, I'd like to set up just a system. If you're in a punk rock band, write to me at the address on the back cover telling me who you are, what you play, and if you've played before. Send a demo if you've got one. I'm looking to set up monthly shows in the manner described above. We can wake this sleeping giant of punk rock if we collaborate. D.I.Y. is the only way to combat sloth.
Points of Light:
I'm tired of actually trying to write about things relevant to anything. Who cares anyways? The point of this whole zine thing is supposed to be to challenge, inspire, and create an awareness in a few people in the hope of helping out society. I don't think we can really change this society at all though. It's pretty far gone, and to even address the issues of how brutal life in America has become, seems an endless and almost pointless task. Everything has been said before in one way or another, but what it has accomplished is somewhat questionable.
And I'm lost in myself. My opinion changes even as I write this and anything else that I write. I don't want to be concerned any longer with the tedium and triteness of a society/culture which is so disgusting, yet so perfectly implanted in the hearts and souls of all it beholds. What is my own existence in this time-space continuum? Who cares whether I change history or do nothing because it doesn't give relevance to my personal existence either way. Where would we even be if we lived in an anarchist utopia, that this zine, along with the likes of profane existence et al, support so whole-heartedly? The human condition doesn't seem to change over time much at all, as much as you'd like to say that technology affects the context of life and human existence. So would our human condition rid itself of its avarice, lust, sloth, and stupidity because we now live in a peaceful anarchist commune? Human nature is something to be reckoned with, and as history has shown us, the will-power of this race is weak. We cannot rid ourselves completely of our faults and shortcomings no matter how enlightened we think we are to the reason for our existence and life itself.
Were we, as a people, meant to live in such a state of peace, freedom, and utopia when we are so flawed by our own nature? I'm not too sure about this..., or anything for that matter, but I will say that conflicts of any sort make life interesting. Good experiences as well as the bad ones we endure decide our psychological make-up. And though I'd rather live in a utopia than this life, I think much of what and who I am comes from the oppression of everyday life. I would not be me without it.
I'm not sure if what I'm saying even makes sense to me, but I don't care. I don't want you to think that I'm not an advocate of striving to change our society into a better one. I wouldn't do all the shit-work for this zine if I didn't believe this. But I really don't see a possibility for a successful revolution. Popular culture has a tight strangle-hold over far too much. We're too compartmentalized as a society because we have forgotten how similar to everyone else we are. Everyone wants to be so individual to assert their importance over others. (This comes from western culture's history of individualism equalling self importance.)
In history, it is often the case that the organized minority takes over an unorganized majority--just look what the Nazis did. And if the revolutionary thinkers in America came together to overthrow culture and government and create a new utopia, would it last? Would it be progress when looked at in the scope of human existence? The instability resulting from such a cataclysmic overthrow would create many vacuums needing to be filled by the same power-hungry, greed-driven insects who are causing the problems we have now. The revolution then would not be progress, since it turned into turmoil, chaos, instability, and power imbalance.
The solution, therefore, is the enlightenment and revolution of mankind. When we are able to come to a point in the development of humankind where our race is enlightened to the true meaning and reason of our existence and can throw away our antiquated, inferior human reality and take on a new and meaningful air, in which our existence is without oppresion, hate, and greed, progress is possible. But this again is a fairy tale-like world which sounds too dream-like in the ignorant, consumeristic, hedonistic, insecure time in which we live.
White Paper (or in this case, a blank monitor) kinda sucks. So here I am, stuck in Germany, deep in the heart of so-called western society. Fuck. By now Germany is more or less a kinda funny mirror of America. Thousands of people listen to Gangsta-Rap (Dr. Dre & stuff) without understanding a word of the lyrics, even without understanding the basic ideas of this kinda music. And listening to some guy praising the usage of guns while understanding fuck-all is what I would call, hm, stupidity. Well, some of the poorer Germans think they understand Gangsta-Rap. They have been brainwashed by Ice-T and Death Row Records and think they are the "niggers" (this is a quote, not a racist comment!) in Germany. In a way, they are not that wrong. They are the victims of society. But their conclusion is to start running around with guns & knives. Not to kill politicians or capitalist bastards, but to steal Stüssy stuff and other expensive, elitist clothes. They have been brainwashed with ads, OK, so I can understand that. What I can't understand is all those dumb middle-class kids who think this is cool. Not because they think it's a cool rebellion against a bad system which causes social injustice. They don't even realize that there is social injustice, or that their rich daddies are partly responsible for the fucked-up lives of all those people. They just think that violence is cool. Which I don't think, because it's mostly punks like me who get beaten up. Which sucks. Especially as it is hard to be a proud European punk anyway. Most punks over here suck. They take being a punk as an excuse for not even starting to think. Which makes me go mad. Does all this even matter to you? Perhaps I should rather write about my personal life.
I'm from Germany, I've got a proper name too. I've got longish, blonde hair,
I'm about 1 meter and 87cm tall, I ain't been laid for 3 months, I didn't have oral sex
for at least 4 months, I'm not gay, I don't drink alcohol, I don't take drugs, I like to
drive 190 kilometers an hour with my car, and I like sex (not while driving 190
km/h, though). Does all this matter? No. (well, unless you are a cool girl. I might
be coming to America around Easter!) Anyway, some things are less pointless than
others, and I do care (kinda) passionately about all the stuff I wrote about. I think
we should be aware of the shit that goes on. I'd like you to contact me (YOU, the
cool girl I addressed previously...no, seriously, do these comments make me a
sexist? I hope not.) at:
P.R. Deltoid P.O. Box 1142 Holland, OH 43528-1142
And, yeah, that's it for now kids!
Editor's Note: EPO is not for your personal ads, whether you're a columnist or not! -J.A.
College Radio as a whole is supposed to serve as an antithesis to big, commercial radio. College Radio is pure, most of the time; you'll never be asked (or told) to buy somebody's product. Every once in a while, you'll hear a harmless public service announcement, but they for the most part are ignored. The real difference between College Radio and commercial radio is format. Commercial stations are strictly bound by playlists and styles. College Radio offers all styles of music (not to mention other programming) and is often more expedient at playing requests. On the whole, College Radio is a godsend to us, and I recommend it whole-heartedly.
But not here in Toledo. "Toledo's only alternative," WXUT (88.3 FM), wants to be a commercial station with such enthusiasm, that they have removed any and all innovative programming. Specifically, I am referring to the former Friday night lineup. In case you never listened to WXUT, i am alluding to the Gush Limbarge Program, Brainwash, and Test Wave. The Gush Limbarge Program was a parody on The Rush Limbaugh Show, but a whole hell of a lot funnier (and less conservative). Most of your "offensive" stuff would take place here. After an hour of that came an hour of Brainwash, which consisted of the song "Brainwash" by Flipper (27 seconds long) played over and over with five second breaks in between. During those breaks, callers were put on the air to say whatever the hell they want to. All in all, a fun show. After that came two hours of Test Wave, the very best in techno mixes. Though techno is not everyone's favorite, the show was worth listening to for chain-smoking host Hojo's deadpan comments.
During a special Saturday marathon edition of these shows, they were interrupted by a Lady Rockets basketball game. Because of past conflicts between a certain sports color commentator and the hosts of these shows, the crew talked over the live feed of the basketball game, including the national anthem, an act which led to their swift dismissal. (Or so it is claimed that that is the reason.)
It is typical of WXUT's management to remove any shred of creativity or innovation from the airwaves. Rationale: commercial radio stations would never air shows like this, so we can't have them here either. This is something that the student broadcasting board of WXUT will never admit, but it is apparent, since the programs in question never violated any kind of FCC regulations or the like.
Because of the unfair removal of these on-air personalities, we here at EIIGY POCR OFF urge you to boycott WXUT and their programming (with the exception of The Sanitarium, at the request of the banned persons). Also included is a black ribbon, which we encourage you to wear in support of the cause. Thanks.
Well, hello people. Let me start by saying, I'm very very fat to meet you. Heh.
Heh. Thanks for supporting my little radio nugget...both listeners and readers of
this fine fine zine. As you may know, Gush was canned by his former station.
Having been a fat bastard broadcaster for years, I've been fired from every shithole
in the country so I'm not too distraught..there is however something to be said for
the lack of fat people on the air in Toledo. No, actually, it's a free speech thing?
Ha! I can't use that argument. It wasn't. I'd never consider myself a victim of the
little pukes who run college radio stations. They all have the "idea" that they'll be
big in broadcasting..and making a decision about someone like me...makes them
"think" they may even have a future in broadcast management!! Unfortunately,
they might be right about the latter...but as creative talent? To steal a line from Phil
Hartman, I got chunks of people like that in my STOOL! Now that is odd for me
to say because I lack any "flaming asshole broadcaster's ego" despite how I sound.
I was an act when I started...in fact, those of you listening to Gush in the past two
months..heard THE REAL GUSH. Too bad it ended. If I ever sounded like I was
getting a ego..I simply reminded myself that it was COLLEGE RADIO!!! It's
DIRT! It's SHIT! I have one foot in reality. I DO support Jay's WXUT
blacklisting campaign. I'm not one for revenge however, but saying what a crappy
station 'xut has been...that's not revenge. Actually, I liked WXUT because for three
years Lester Guy has been doing whatever the hell he wanted to there...and I've
worked for MUCH STRICTER stations with CHRISTIAN overtones. (Couldn't
even say HELL or DAMN) So, even though we crossed the line with the
marathon, we did a few weeks back, I'm proud that I did it with the talent of the
Lester Guy crew. Once we stepped over the line...we never looked back. It's that
spirit that made our shows so fun to do...and so frightening to management. You
can't talk over the NATIONAL ANTHEM...it's un-american!!! (No, It's comedy!!!)
Again, thanks for all the support, and hopefully you'll continue to hear from me via
this zine and my cruddy website. See You People!
Mr. Packeroff,
I truly appreciated the page that you have dedicated to myself and others. I
shall make it known that it exists to the community at large and my Intro To
Philosophy class. You have earned an A+ with no further requirements in the
philosophy department. I grant you an honorary Ph.d.....
Good day,
Dr. Robert D. Lingsweiler
Welcome to the information age. Knowledge for the masses is now being realized. Everyone knows the Internet is growing rapidly, but many people are still in the dark. Many people have even used the Internet once or twice, but haven't gotten anything permanent from it, because they don't have access at home on their computer. People lack Internet access for many reasons, but in the end, it almost always boils down to money. That's why I've written this article as your guide to "free" Internet.
The first thing most people want out of the Internet is e-mail. Consequently, this has been among the first services to be offered for free. If you have an IBM compatible computer that runs Windows (version 3.1 or higher) and a modem, you can get free e-mail from Juno. Juno is a phenomenal little service that comes on 1 free disk. You install it, answer a few questions, and voila, you can now send and receive e-mail. Juno has only two minor downsides: (1) you have to put up with advertisements, (The ads are generally unobtrusive and can easily be ignored.) (2) it can only be checked on IBM computers with Juno software installed.
The second cool Internet e-mail freebie is Webmail. Webmail is mail that can be checked and sent from any computer with WWW (that's world wide web, in case you've been living under a rock or something) access. Webmail comes in two flavors, Hotmail and Netaddress. Although Netaddress (http://netaddress.usa.net) currently has more features and a slightly nicer implementation, Hotmail wins the contest hands down. Hotmail (http://www.hotmail.com) is much faster and more reliable; it's probably the way to go. The basic idea with webmail is that you login and logout of your mailbox on the web. Interactive web pages allow you to create mail, keep address books, and not only receive mail, but also attached files.
Another great web freebie that I came across is DejaNews (http://www.dejanews.com). Dejanews is a web interface for the ever popular Usenet News. Usenet newsgroups are bulletin boards for discussion groups where people post messages and reply to each other. Usenet is also popular for downloading binary files or images. From alt.binaries.warez to alt.binaries.erotica, you can find a newsgroup for almost any sort of file. Dejanews not only serves as a search engine to help you find what you're looking for, but also allows you to browse usenet newsgroups and post messages. Dejanews is an excellent complement to a Hotmail account.
The best part about all of these web services is that all the information is stored on a
remote computer somewhere out in cyberspace. This means that you can check your Hotmail,
or post a message on Usenet (via Dejanews), from virtually anywhere. This is great if you
have access to the WWW at school, a friend's house, the library, or wherever.
To request Juno by snail mail, write to:
New Member Dept. Juno 120 W. 45th St. New York, NY, 10036
Or you can request it by e-mail (they prefer this, but how they think people without e-mail are going to send them e-mail so they can get e-mail is beyond me) at signup@juno.com.
This is the word of the Digital Prophet.
Hello. Let me say that, most likely, I was stuck way in the back of this zine, so I'll probably have to GRAB YOUR ATTENTION! Instead of having a Me-Talk-You-Listen article, let's have an INTERACTIVE DISCUSSION.
For starters, complete the following phrases/slogans: (answers on page 11)
e.g. Just _____ (Nike)
Correct! The answer is "do it". Now complete the following:
Evaluation: (1) If you didn't figure out any of these, you're very dumb, go back to UT. (2) If you had up to four right, you probably earned your four-year degree from UT. (3) If you scored five or better, you have been infected with corporate America's "catchy phrases" (along with the rest of us).
People hear these slogans and they become stapled to the subconcious of our brains. We have more useless information in our heads than Clinton has concubines (if that's possible). We're like high-speed computers that only doodle. This is fact! I don't need to tell you something that you already know. The point of this "interactive discussion" is that commercializing affects us, but its use isn't beneficial, but its potential is. (Huh?)
The moral state of people nowadays is a lack thereof. The cure? (interactive once again) Sell out! (Hey, it's the "in" thing to do!) Yes, folks, sell out morals. Have "high quality" t-shirts that say, "Abstinence...". No, better yet, SEX (nice and big). On the back, the "catchy phrase", "Just don't do it.", and in small letters, "Abstinence for America". Commercialize it! The mentality of "fashion" is imbedded by the use of commercializing. Have T.V. commercials with awsome music and a hot looking chick as the "average American girl" posing for the camera, wearing an "Abstinence for America" t-shirt. Everyone will want to jump on the bandwagon of selling out morals. Hell, we might even have moral poseurs. And if it doesn't work, big deal! The world will grow into one giant orgy where 100% of Earth's population (animals included) are taken over by genital herpes. May God save the animals!
Tap, thanks for bringing us closer to prosecution for copyright infringement. -J.A.
During the holiday season (whatever that means), we are reminded that we are all one, and that we depend on each other to accomplish things. Likewise, here at EPO, nothing would get done if it weren't for the hard work and dedication of the EPO Media Collective. So, to show our thanks, we honor you, the members of the Collective, for everything you've done:
Would you like to become a part of this list? All you have to do is something, anything, that helps out our cause. Be it writing an article, submitting something you've stumbled across, whatever, we always need volunteers to help out. Contact us about what you can do to spread the message.
Finally, I'd like to thank:
Because without you, none of this would be worthwhile.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwaanza, Happy New Year, etc., etc.